This has never held any meaning for me until this year.
We found out we were pregnant with (what should have been) Baby #4 on October 1, 2012. It was a blighted ovum and the pregnancy ended mid November, just a week before Thanksgiving. If you are unclear about blighted ovums, you are much like we were. We'd never heard of that before. Conception happens. A sac develops. In our case, a yolk develops. Then it stops. Nothing beyond that, even though the sac continues to grow and your pregnancy symptoms continue to worsen. I suffered this for almost 10 weeks.
A few months later, we were pregnant again.
October 25, 2013 was my due date with pregnancy #5. Right now, I would have been complaining about how big I am. How tired I am. How I wish this baby would come out. Because I always deliver late.
In the world of pregnancy and infant loss (and, my! there are many bereaved mothers out there) the baby you deliver after a loss is considered a rainbow baby. We discovered we were pregnant just before Valentines day 2013. It would have been our rainbow baby. Elijah and I made this for Benton after I had a positive pregnancy test.
A bit apprehensive, we didn't want to get too excited until we saw the baby on the ultrasound and heard the heartbeat.
148 Beats Per Minute. Everything looked perfect.
We lost this baby as I was entering week 13. Since I have 3 living children, I am pretty quick to begin to show. The only photo I have of my small bump.
As the weeks passed, I was certain this pregnancy would end with a fat baby in my arms for Halloween. So I started his/her quilt.
On April 18, 2013 we buried our baby here.
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